Help me out
by QuietSunlight
Summary: Set after Last of Us. Ellie tries to figure out these new confusing feelings she's having. Set in the compound. Rated M for language and for things in later chapters.
1. Chapter 1

This is from a request from N2Horizon. Set after the Last of Us. Rated M for swearing and sex in later chapters.

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Ellie opened her green eyes to the sun filtering through her window, her body rigid and alert. It took a few seconds to realize that she was home now, that she was safe. She was at the compound. They had been here for 6 months now, but she still woke up tensed and ready.

She sighed and rolled off the bed, and softly padded over to her very own bathroom, getting ready for the day, and when she was done she made her way downstairs.

Joel was no where to be found, but there was a note on the table.

_"Ellie,_

_I had to help Tommy this morning. _

_Make yourself some breakfast and find Maria, _

_she mentioned needing your help._

_Make sure you do this time Ellie._

_-Joel"_

She set the note down and snorted at it. Joel, even bossy through a note. She fixed herself some eggs, plopping herself down at the table. As she chewed, she thought.

She hadn't really been out much since she arrived. She had been getting over not being able to save the world, besides, what did she need to talk to people for? She had Joel. But she knew she had to start helping out. She wasn't sure about how she felt about the towns people. There was one in perticular, his name was Ben, and he threw a fit when he found out Joel and Ellie would live together, he kept ranting that it was wrong and weird.

She didn't understand why he felt that way, she had been with Joel for so long now, she was used to his company. And no asshole of a man was going to tell her she couldn't live under the same roof.

Ellie finished her food and set out to find Maria. She would be needing a lot of help soon, seeing as her belly was showing now. Joel had urged Ellie to help her earlier, but Ellie always found some excuse to stay in the house. She was uncertain about how she felt with Maria being pregnant. She was excited for her, but she didn't understand why everyone was so excited over it, all babies did were cry and poop.

She found Maria over by the stables, talking to a few people. Ellie waited until they left before she approached.

"Hi Maria." Ellie said with a smile. As uncertain as she was about some people, she did like Maria.

Maria smiled. "Hey Ellie! It's not the most pleasent job, but will you help me muck out the stables? The smell's been getting to me lately."

Ellie's nose wrinkled, but she loved the horses, so she didn't complain.

The two started on their task, working side by side silently.

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Just a short chapter to ease us into the story. Hope you enjoyed!


	2. Chapter 2

Hello everybody! Hope you enjoy the second chapter! I'm not sure if I clarified this enough, or even at all, but this is pretty much about Ellie and her teenage confused feelings. Alright, without further delay...

Also, disclaimer, I do not own Ellie, Joel, Tommy or Maria.

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When they were finished with their work, the sun was high in the sky, and it was very hot. Ellie put her pitch fork down and glanced at Maria, who looked a little pale.

"Maria? Are you ok?" She asked.

Maria jumped and looked at Ellie. "I'm fine, I just feel a little funny." Her face contorted and she clamped her hand over her mouth, grabbing onto one of the stable doors. She gasped and then bent over, throwing up, gripping the stable door with both hands.

Ellie took a step back and looked away. If there was anything Ellie was really scared of in this world, it was throwing up. She started to shake, a whimper escaping her throat. After a few seconds she gripped the bottom of her shirt with both hands and looked at Maria. Her eyes were clamped shut and she was breathing heavily.

Ellie gritted her teeth and stepped around the mess, grabbing on to Maria's shirt sleeve and pulling her towards Maria's house. She walked her in and had her sit on the couch, and she got a drink of water for her. She handed it to Maria and stepped away, busying herself with looking at the books on the shelves.

"Ellie, I don't feel good. I think I got too hot, and that worries me with the baby. We heard rumors of a small family that was heading this way a few days back, and if I'm not mistaken they should arrive here today. Can you go to the gates and see if the guards have noticed anything? I'm sorry Ellie, I wouldn't ask you to do this if it weren't important."

Ellie turned around and looked at Maria. She was sweating and her face was pale and sickly looking. She looked like she might be sick again. Ellie shuddered. Then she nodded her head. "Of course, I'll go check it out."

Ellie refilled Maria's glass and then headed towards the gate. When she got there, she asked the guard, who she thought was named Keith, if he'd seen anything. He shook his head but asked her if she wanted to have a look. He bent down and reached for her, then lifted her up onto the stand he was posted on.

She steadied herself and looked over the edge. The forest bloomed out beneath her in an array of beautiful greens and browns. The air smelled fresh, even with the stifling heat. Ellie's mouth dropped open as she watched a deer make her way gracefully through the underbrush. There was a hushed serenity that brought Ellie more peace then she could ever remember. She sighed.

"Beautiful isn't it?" Keith asked her. She nodded as her green eyes took in all that was before her. She stopped when she saw a patch of red that didn't belong, behind a bush.

She nudged Keith and discreetly pointed to it. He instantly became alert, the threat of bandits was always present. "I see where you are hiding, please step out from behind the bush with your hands held up, we are armed, so don't try anything stupid."

Ellie held her breath as a woman stepped out, followed by a girl around Ellie's age. They were both dirty, and by the way they held themselves she knew they were tired.

"Please," the woman said. "It is just me with my daughter. We mean no harm, we only wish to seek shelter."

Ellie looked at Keith when he didn't put his gun down. "Those are the people Maria were talking about. She told me to come here to see if they'd arrived yet, we're supposed to let them in!" Keith glanced at Ellie and raised an eyebrow. "Oh yeah? Then why isn't Maria here to give me the ok?"

She sighed in frustration. "We were cleaning out the stables when she got sick. She asked me to come here in her place."

Keith thought for a moment and set his gun down. He picked up his radio and called for Maria. After a moment's pause, she answered, explaining that it was ok to let them in. Keith jumped down and opened the gates, letting them in. Ellie stayed on the stand and watched them. The woman was bone thin, with clothes on way too big for her. She had high cheekbones and crystal blue eyes. Her hair was dirty, but Ellie thought she saw a patch of medium blonde colored hair.

She glanced at the younger girl, and froze. She was looking right at her. Her eyes were brown with green swirls. They reminded Ellie of the forest. Her hair was light brown, and just brushed her shoulders. She was also thin, but not as badly as her mother. After a few more moments of eye contact they disappeared around a corner.

A few hours later she saw them again. She was walking home after checking on Maria when she caught sight of them walking into the abandoned house across the street. She hurried towards home, trying to avoid talking with them, but right as she reached her porch steps the mother called to her.

Ellie froze and turned, and walked across the street, anxious of what she was going to say. "Hello, you're the girl that was up on that stand, right? Thank you for telling that man it was ok to let us in." She smiled and wrapped her arm around her daughter. "My name is Anna, and this is my daughter, Katerina." Ellie looked between the two and couldn't help but blurt "she's your daughter? But she looks nothing like you!"

Anna's smile slipped and she hung her head. "Yes well, she got all her fathers looks."

Ellie frowned. "Oh, where is he?"

Anna sighed and looked back up at Ellie, tears forming in the corners of her eyes. "We've been looking for shelter for quite awhile, most people didn't want to let us in. We had a lot of run ins with bad people, and every time we thought we were safe we weren't. Right before we found you guys, he was defending us when he got bit..." She dropped off, but Ellie didn't need any more detail. She bit her lip and looked down. "Oh, I uh, I'm sorry to hear that."

Anna sighed, and said "That's just how things happen. We're not the first family to feel such pain. Everyone has lost someone."

Ellie nodded and started to walk away, but as an afterthought she turned and yelled out, "my name's Ellie by they way!" Anna waved and ushered her daughter into the house, and Ellie made her way home. Feeling exhausted she went up into her bedroom, kicked off her shoes, and fell into sleep.

Ellie woke up to the smell of cooking food, and she realized she was starving. She walked down into the dimly lit kitchen and sat down at the table watching Joel cook for awhile. She whined, "Joel, when will it be done, I'm starving!" She watched Joel's shoulders shake as he giggled. "Soon Ellie, soon." After a few more minutes he shut the burner off and turned around, his shirt completely unbuttoned to show a chest full of thick dark hair. Ellie gulped as Joel walked around the table towards her, a slow lazy grin spreading across his face. "It's done." He whispered. She glanced at the stove and realized there was nothing on it. Her eyes swiveled back to Joel, who was now standing in front of her, slowly unbuttoning his pants. Her eyes widened...

Ellie gasped as she woke up, tangled in the sheets on her bed. She was covered in sweat and it took her a minute to realize it was a dream. As she lay panting, she didn't understand the feeling of warmth nestled right under her bellybutton, or the damp feeling in her panties. She sighed and shook it off, then fell into an uneasy sleep.

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So! What did you think?


	3. Chapter 3

Hello everybody! Hope you like this one! I'm doing 3 in 3 days because I don't think I'll be able to post tomorrow, and maybe not over the weekend. Please review to let me know how I'm doing! Oh also, naming the mother Anna was COMPLETELY subconscious. I had no intentions of her being Ellie's mother or anything. Alright, on to the story!

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Ellie woke up the next day, completely oblivious to the dream she had. That is, until she walking into the kitchen, and there Joel was, standing in front of the stove. Ellie froze, her breath catching in her throat. She bit her lip as Joel turned around - holding a pan of eggs. She sighed, with relief or disappointment she wasn't sure.

"Mornin' Ellie." Joel scooped some scrambled eggs onto her plate and began humming under his breath. Ellie nodded and took a seat, starting on her eggs. She was in mid chew when Joel set the pan down and sat across from her. He cleared his throat, and waited for Ellie to finish chewing.

"Ellie, I saw that we have new neighbors. I think you should go over there and invite them over for dinner tonight."

Ellie gulped. "What? Why?"

"Because, I think it's time you started making friends, and that girl, Catherine of whatever her name was, looks to be about your age."

"Katerina."

"That's not the point, don't change the subject Ellie."

"But, that's not even fair! I have enough friends!"

Joel put his palm flat on the table and sat up. "Oh yeah? Who?"

"Uh...You...Maria.." She cast her eyes down and set her jaw. She was mad at Joel for this attack at her. She didn't need anyone else. Who did he think he was? Trying to make her find friends? She wan't a little kid, she didn't need a friend counselor.

Joel cleared his throat. "Ellie, two adults are not enough for a girl your age."

Ellie stood up quickly, anger spreading through her body. "I. Do. Not. Need. Any. One. Else. Besides. You! We survived everything together! A whole fucking ton of people tried to kill us, and you just want to let any fucking person waltz in to our lives like no big deal?!"

Joel stood up too, his knee hitting the table, rattling the glasses resting there. "Ellie god dammit listen to me, we decided to come here to start over. No one in this town is a threat, NO ONE." He stepped around the table and looked down at her, anger seeming to make his eyes darken. He continued, "I will not sit around wasting my life in this house, and neither will you!" He slammed his fist onto the table and waited for her reply.

She brought her eyes up to meet his, and she whispered "After all I've been through, you can't expect me to just trust anyone."

Joel exhaled and lowered his voice. "Ellie, you can't keep hatin' the world for something you have no control over. We are here, we are safe, and I'll be damned if I watch you rot away in this house. Invite them over." And with that, he stepped around her, and left the house, slamming the door behind him. Ellie sat back down at the table, angrily wiping tears off her cheeks.

An hour later she stood in front of her neighbors door, stubbornly prolonging knocking on it. When she was ready, she knocked lightly, hoping they wouldn't hear. She wait about 0.3 seconds and then turned, ready to walk off the porch. Just as relief sunk in, she heard the door open.

"Ellie?"

She turned and saw Katerina at the door. "Uh, hi, Kat. Uh...Can I call you Kat? Uhm, anyways, Joel, the uh, dude that lives with me, wanted me to invite you guys over for dinner tonight." Katerina nodded and turned back into the house, asking Anna if that was alright. When everything was set, Ellie nodded to Kat and set off.

Later that night, Joel returned with a few boxes. He set them all down but one, and called Ellie into the kitchen. When she got there, he turned to her with the box in his hand and said "I've just been down to Tommy and Maria's to check on her. She's doing well, a lot better then yesterday, and I got permission to grab a few extra boxes of food tonight for Anna and Catherine, I-"

Ellie smirked. "Katerina, you might want to remember that before she gets here."

Joel continued "Katerina, right. Anyways, I need to start cooking the chicken up, unload these boxes, starting with this one. Joel handed her the box and went to the stove."

Ellie grumbled under her breath, annoyed by his breezy attitude towards her. She set the box down and opened it. Inside was a blanket. Confused, she started to lift it when she felt slight weight to it. She set it back down and uncurled the corners, to uncover a little black kitten sleeping on the bottom of the box.

"Oh my god! Is it for me?" Ellie whispered, awe struck by the soft fur of the tiny kitten. Joel walked over to her and smiled. "Yeah, do you like her?" Ellie nodded, and then looked up. "It's a her?"

"Yeah, at least that's what the lady down the road said. And she'd know, she's a crazy cat lady if I've ever seen one, besides, male cats pee everywhere, and I hate the smell." Ellie giggled. "What's a crazy cat lady?" Joel sat down on the floor next to Ellie and explained. "Well, a crazy cat lady is usually an older woman, who doesn't have many people in her life. So she usually turns to animals for comfort. It don't have to be cats, it can be dogs, rats, birds. But, crazy cat lady is the universal term for 'em." Ellie smiled and looked down at the kitten, and whispered, "Ew, rats."

After a moment, Joel looked up at Ellie and put his hand on her arm. "Ellie, the lady said she was the runt of the litter, meaning, she was the smallest. She's special, and you need to treat her that way." Ellie looked down at Joel's hand, his fingers curving slowly around her arm, and nodded. "I will, Joel." She rested her head on his shoulder and whispered "I think I'll name her Riley."

Ellie was dozing off, the kitten on her lap, her head rested on Joel's shoulder when the sound of knocking came from the front hall. She sat up and groaned. "Ugh, they must be here." Joel stood up and dusted himself off. "Be nice Ellie." Ellie stood up with the kitten in her arms when Anna and Katerina walked in.

They exchanged hello's and oogled over the kitten for a minute, then Ellie asked Joel is he needed any help cooking. He shook his head no and scooted her up the stairs, Kat in tow. When they got to her room they shut the door behind them and set the kitten down, who started exploring Ellie's room. Ellie sat on her bed and watched Kat.

Kat stood there for a moment before smiling timidly at Ellie and sitting herself down on the floor. After a few moments silence, Ellie said "So, Kat, are you liking it here?" Kat looked up and smiled. "Yeah, it's a lot better then where we were before, which was a run down mobile home. We thought we were safe there, but, we weren't." She looked down and sighed.

Ellie scooted to the edge of the bed and sat up. "What made you guys decide to leave?"

Kat shuddered and was silent a moment before saying "One really hot day, we didn't have the guard up over the front door. My little brother, Avery, stepped outside, following a butterfly. By the time anyone noticed, he was out in the middle of the street. Me and dad ran out there and uhm.." She paused, and wiped a tear out of the corner of her eye before continuing. "We were just about there when this dog, this dog with dried blood and dirt all over it jumped at him...All, all I remember is the screaming from my mom, and the sound of the shotgun firing..and red, the color red..I needed to look away so I looked up...And the butterfly was fluttering above us, without a care in the world.."

Kat stopped and sobbed, and Ellie slid off the bed, her arms snaking their way across Kat's shoulders. They sat that way for awhile, Katerina crying and Ellie listening to the pounding of Kat's heart against her ribs. A few moments after Kat settled down, her mother called to them that dinner was ready. Kat pulled away quickly and started rubbing at her eyes. She whispered "Mom doesn't like to talk about it, she gets real mad if she knows I've been crying."

After she looked presentable, they went down to dinner. And the four talked and joked over chicken with herbs, carrots, and potatoes. After Anna and Katerina left, Joel and Ellie cleaned the kitchen together and then headed to bed. Long into the night Ellie's mind was plagued with the story Katerina had told her. She knew now that she wasn't the only one that felt pain, and she was ashamed for acting out so childishly. She promised herself she would make more of an effort to be nicer. Feeling a little less guilty, she rolled over and curled up next to the sleeping ball of fuzz next to her.


	4. Chapter 4

I wasn't going to post one today, but plans got changed.

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Ellie woke up to a knock at her door. She rubbed her eyes and sat up, waking up Riley in the process. She figuring it was Joel telling her it was time to get up. After a minute, there was another knock.

"What?" She asked, annoyed that he was still pestering her. The door slowly opened and Katerina peeked around the corner. "Ellie? Maria told me to come get you..." She took a step in and stood by the door, hands clasped. "Uh, Joel was taking a walk in the woods early this morning, and uh- he fell, down a steep slope. It took Tommy an hour to find him..he's not waking up."

Ellie jumped out of bed, tripping over her sheets. "Oh god. Oh shit.." She was completely panicked, her breath thin and raspy. As she was trying to pull her pants up, she fell back and landed with a thud.

Katerina stepped forward and knelt in front of Ellie, grabbing both of her hands, and forcing Ellie to look a her. "Ellie, you need to calm down. Get dressed, and I'll meet you downstairs." She stood up and took the kitten, making her way out of the room. Ellie took a shaky breath and finished getting dressed, rushing down the stairs as soon as she could.

Katerina was there, feeding pieces of left over chicken to Riley. She finished up and wiped her hands, walking forward and grabbing Ellie's, they both left for the infirmary. Ellie's mind was racing and she tried to concentrate on the warmth of Katerina's hand in hers.

When they got there, Joel was lying too still, his head wrapped up in gauze slightly damp with blood. He had a bandage around his bare chest, and his breath was coming out in pained puffs, his face contorted in pain. Ellie let go of Kat's hand, and ran to Joel, sitting down in the chair next to the bed. Tommy and Maria were off a ways, talking to the doctor.

Ellie clasped her hands together and tried to stop shaking, this was the second time she'd seen Joel like this, and the memory was far too fresh. She jumped when Maria put her hand on her shoulder. Maria kneeled down, rather painfully, and looked at Ellie. "Hey, hey now. He'll be ok. He has a few bruised ribs, and he has a nasty gash on his head, but he'll recover just fine." Ellie shook her head and closed her eyes. "But what if it gets infected Maria?"

Maria put her hand on Ellie's. "It won't. And even if it does, we have medicine. He'll be fine." Ellie shook her head again, panic coursing through her body. "But what if he won't be fucking fine, Maria? What if he dies? What the fuck will I do?" She sat up straighter and groaned, getting lost in the panic she was feelings.

Maria grabbed her chin and forced her to look at her, squeezing just enough to hurt. "Ellie, he will be fine. We will not let him die. And please, don't talk to me that way." Ellie took a deep breath, then realized that Maria looked pained. "What, what's the matter Maria?" Maria smiled a little and looked away. "I've been feeling some pain with the baby. Doctor says it's just because I move around too much. He's mad that I'm here right now, I should be resting, blah blah blah. I have been, and I'm tired of it."

Ellie glanced over to the doctor, who was taking some kids temperature. He had thick dark hair, glasses, and was wearing a clean white lab coat. Ellie decided he looked smart enough and looked back at Maria. "He's probably right Maria, you should be getting some rest. I'll stay here with Joel."

Maria smiled and patted Ellie's knee, standing back up. "Ok darlin, if you need anything come get me." She waved at the doctor and headed out. Ellie settled back in the chair and put her head against the back rest, letting her eyes flutter closed..

"Excuse me, miss?" Ellie jolted awake to a guy standing a few inches in front of her. She thought he was the doctor, and then she realized he was a lot younger. "Hi there, you've been asleep for awhile. Visiting hours are over, you'll have to come back tomorrow. "

Ellie sat up and glared at him. "And who are you to tell me I have to leave?"

The guy smiled. "I'm Ryan, the doctors son." Ellie's cheeks flared up and she looked down. "Oh." She heard a faint chuckle and saw his hand reach for hers. "And what's your name?"

She stood up and pushed past his hand. "I'll be back here first thing tomorrow."

She was on her way home when she decided she didn't want to be alone. She stopped by the house to feed Riley, then she made her way to Tommy and Maria's house. Tommy was out, so Ellie helped Maria get dinner ready. As they worked, they talked.

"How're you feelin' Ellie?"

"I'm alright, I guess. I wish Joel would just wake up. The doctors stupid son made me leave."

A giggle from Maria. "He's not a bad guy Ellie, rules are rules. It's not the first time someone was forced to leave. Ryan's a good guy. Don't judge him so harshly."

"How old is he anyway?"

"He's 16." A glance in Ellie's direction.

"Oh."

A short pause.

"So, Maria, what are you going to name the baby?"

"We're not sure yet, I think we want to wait on a decision until we see him or her."

Dinner was ready at this point, and they ate, then read for awhile. Tommy came home, and after he ate they played a couple rounds of cards, until Maria stared yawning. They said their goodbyes, and Ellie went home to a dark and lonely house. She ended up sleeping on the floor of Joel's room, curled up with Riley, listening to the creaks and groans of the house that she never seemed to notice before.

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So, I'm unsure what to name Maria's baby, so I'd like you to give me a name you like in the reviews. Sorry this chapter is shorter, my T button is sticking, and you don't realize just how much you use it until it sticks. I got annoyed with beating it, so I shortened the chapter a bit. Anyway, hope you enjoyed.


	5. Chapter 5

Sorry for the delay. I've been busy. Warning, sexual content in this chapter.

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It had been a week since Joel had fallen unconscious, and he still hadn't woken up.

Ellie had taken to sleeping in the hospital, after some argument with the doctor. She went home for some time every day to feed and play with the kitten. Katerina brought her food that she barely ate. And when she did sleep, she dreamed only of Joel. One dream stuck in her head more then the rest.

_"Ellie." His voice came out thick, she turned her head slowly and glanced at him. He was standing right behind her, his breath wrapping around her ear, his chest inches away from Ellie's back. They were standing in a room, with only a couch and small table, she couldn't find the door. She jumped slightly as he brought his hand up and rested it on her shoulder. She sucked in a breath and turned around, looking up at him. Her breath caught as he leaned toward her, and she closed her eyes as his mouth brushed against hers. He snaked his tongue in between her lips, and she moaned lightly. He pushed her back, and she fell back towards the couch.._

And woke with a start, a light sweat on her brow. This dream had reoccurred a few times now, and it made it weird to look at Joel. She sat up and decided to go feed the kitten. She made her way to the house quickly, rushing to get out of the heat of the day, and opened the door, greeted by a black furball meowing at her. She scooped Riley up and brought her to the counter, feeding her a few pieces of home made cat food the cat lady had brought her. Then she ran upstairs and showered, letting the cool water run against her body. She technically wasn't supposed to shower mid day due to shower schedules, but she needed this.

As she was scrubbing her body her fingers gently brushed against her womanhood. She froze when a little shock of pleasure ran through her body, and leaned against the shower wall. She was uncertain about how she felt about this. That felt good, but did she really want to touch herself? She slowly brought her fingers down and rubbed her fingers in a circle against her clit, and bit her lip as her body responded. She brought her hand up and rubbed it against her breast, tweaking her nipple lightly. She moaned as she became fully aroused, watching her nipple harden under her fingers.

She continued to rub her clit and spread her legs a little, and continued to rub her nipples, alternating between the two. Her breath came out faster as the little tingles of pleasure started to mount, she threw her head back against the shower wall and continued pleasuring herself.

After a few minutes of this her legs became weak, and she quickly turned the shower off, stepping out and going straight to her bed, she sprawled out and continued rubbing herself, arching her back and moaning lightly. She was starting to tremble, and a heat began to form in her lower belly. She gasped and losing herself a little, stuck one finger into herself, slowly moving it back and forth. She moaned at the feeling it gave her, and quickly slid another one in, moving her fingers in and out slowly.

She spread her legs wider and moved her fingers faster, panting. Her eyes her closed tight and she continued rubbing her nipples, roughly now. She moaned and let her mind wander to Joel, and immediately moaned louder, gasping out, "Oh god Joel..." She started thrusting her hips up in time with her fingers, and she groaned as the pressure in her belly became intense, she bit her lip, threw her head back in her pillow, and cried out as her body convulsed, her orgasm hitting it's peak.

She lay panting, slowly sliding her fingers out of herself. As she lay in the after glow, she heard Riley meow, and then realized she sounded too clear, because Ellie had closed her door behind her. She sat up quickly and saw Katerina standing there, Riley squirming in her hands.

Kat's mouth was open slightly, and she blinked a couple of times before clearing her throat. "Uh..Ellie.. I just came to tell you..Joel woke up." she swallowed and looked down, and as Ellie scrambled to cover herself up, she heard Kat whisper "I heard you making noises..I thought you might be sick.." Then Katerina turned and bolted down the stairs, and Ellie cringed as she heard the front door snap closed.

She sat still for a minute, then let the tears slide down her face, embarrassed, and confused about what had just happened. She gave herself some time, then she angrily wiped away the tears, got dressed, and left to see how Joel was doing.

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I just wanted to end it here, keep the shock hanging in the air. I'll upload again soon, and it will be longer. Thank you!


	6. Chapter 6

My inspiration is high today, Enjoy.

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When Ellie got to the hospital, the first thing she noticed was the yelling.

"I don't need to stay here! Don't tell me I need to lay back down! I am fine!"

Ellie stepped into the room and saw Joel sitting on the edge of his bed, the doctor right in front of him. Joel looked pissed off, and the doctor looked tired.

"Please sir, Joel, you just woke up, I just want you to stay here for a bit so I can make sure you're ok."

Ellie walked up and stood beside the doctor, crossing her arms. "Joel, you've been out for a week. Let the doctor make sure you're not gonna pass out again."

"A week? What in the world happened?" He finally relaxed, and let himself properly sit on the bed. Ellie noticed he looked sad and confused. She patted his knee. "You were out walking and you fell, when Tommy got to you, you weren't waking up."

Joel ran his hand through his hair and looked at the ground. "I think I remember leaving for the walk..But I don't remember anything else.." He looked up at Ellie and cocked his head. "Who're you?"

Ellie's mouth dropped open and she fought the familiar pressure of tears behind her eyes. She dropped her hands, so they hung at her sides. "I.."

Joel burst out laughing. "I'm just kidding Ellie! I told you I was fine!" He slapped his thigh and continued laughing. "The look on your face!"

Ellie felt her face heat up and she crossed her arms. "That was not funny Joel!" She remembered Kat walking in on her and her face flushed even redder. "That is not funny at all.." She looked up at the doctor. "Please, knock him out again." Then she huffed in his general direction and stomped out. She stood outside the hospital for a minute and then decided she didn't want to go home.

She went to where the horses were grazing, in a small make shift pasture right on the edge of the compound, and went to the horse she favored the most: Kraven. Kraven was a black horse, she was only 3 years old, and had been named Kraven because she was more nervous and anxious than the rest. Just like Ellie.

She sat by Kraven and picked grass for awhile, making a neat little pile right in front of Kraven. She was lost in thought when a twig snapping made her and Kraven jump. Ellie whipped around and saw Katerina standing behind her.

Ellie's face bloomed red again and she looked at the ground, and listened to Kat make her way around Ellie, sitting down a few inches in front of her. Ellie sighed and hoped with all her ability that she could just poof, and never have to see Kat again.

After a few minutes, she braved it and shot a quick glance at Kat, taking in her facial expression. It shocked Ellie to see a softt kindness on Kat's face, and she looked at Kat with a questioning look.

"Ellie.." Kat began, "What happened earlier, is normal. I don't think it's weird, and I don't think any different of you. I was beginning to see you as a friend, so I hope that what happened earlier doesn't jeopardize that."

Ellie's mouth dropped open. "You mean, you're not totally disgusted?"

Kat giggled. "No, of course not Ellie. It's a normal thing."

Ellie turned her head a little, focusing on the grass. "To be honest, that's the first time I've ever done it."

Katerina made a small surprised noise in the back of her throat. "Then a previous lover taught you how?"

Ellie shook her head. "No. I'm a virgin. Aren't you?"

"No." Kat cleared her throat. "In times like these, you get whatever pleasure you can."

Ellie looked up. "Wait, how old are you?"

"17, you?"

"Holy shit! You look like you're 15! Which is how old I am, by the way."

Kat nodded and smiled. "Yeah, I get that a lot. So, are we still friends? I need a friend around here Ellie."

Ellie nodded, and added "But you have your mom."

"Me and my mom don't really see eye to eye. She thinks that if I had been watching my brother better he'd still be alive."

Ellie sat up straight, startling Kraven. "That's ridiculous! That's not your fault Kat!"

Kat stood up and brushed off her jeans. "Yeah, maybe. I should get back to mom, she's drunk already, and I have to keep an eye on her." She walked past Ellie, and right as she was just behind her, she bent down and whispered in Ellie's ear; "Just between you and I, Ellie. I'd like to make you cum like that again."

Ellie sat in stunned silence as Kraven's shadow elongated beside her, signifying the closing of the day. Ellie stood up and stumbled home, too shocked to be mad at Joel for his horrible joke.

They sat together and ate dinner. Ellie realized she was just glad to eat with him again. She filled Joel in on what he missed, and they giggled over how much Riley had grown in the week Joel wasn't there. When it got late and Ellie started yawning, she asked Joel if he was ready for bed.

Joel looked at her and laughed, "Ellie, I just slept for a week. I'm gonna stay up. But you haven't. In fact, I heard you haven't been sleeping much at all. Head to bed baby girl, I'm fine now, and I'll see you in the morning."

Ellie said her goodnight and headed up to bed, confused now more then ever. She tried to keep her thoughts on Joel, and even thought dirty about him, but as her eyes fluttered closed, Kat was the last thing she saw. The last coherent thought she had, was wondering how to have sex with a girl, and how good it felt.

_And when she slept, she dreamed. She was kissing Joel, lying on his chest, wrapped in his arms on a soft bed, she moaned against his rough lips, and he picked her up gently and rolled her over, so he was on top of her. When his lips crashed down on hers again, they were soft, a full set of soft lips. Ellie jerked back and opened her eyes, and Kat's earth colored eyes were looking down a her._

Ellie woke up, disoriented and confused, staring at the dark room around her.

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So, please, please, please review. It makes my day.


	7. Chapter 7

So, this is gonna be sort of a breather chapter. Sorry if it seems a little lacking, I had to make a tough decision yesterday, so I'm sort of down.

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Ellie woke up with heavy pain in her lower stomach. She rolled over onto her side and moaned lightly, wrapping her arms around her belly. She gritted her teeth as the pain rose to a peak, and then relaxed. She sighed and threw the blankets off her, and groaned when she saw the dark red stain between her legs. Ellie hated her period, it always seemed to affect her more then the other girls.

She got up and showered, then put on clean clothes, placing a disposable pad on her panties. She was glad they had those here, but she knew the supply was getting low, because when Maria had given them to her she told her to use them sparingly. When she was done, she went down the stairs, and was assaulted with the smell of cooking food. Immediately, her stomach protested, and she ran past a cooking Joel to the sink, where she gripped the edges, waiting for the nausea to pass.

"Ellie, are you ok? Are you sick?" Joel asked from behind her. She clamped her mouth shut and shook her head, hoping that he would just leave her alone. But he came up behind her and put his hand on her shoulder, with that damn spatula resting between his fingers.

"Joel! It's the smell of food that's making me sick! Get that stupid spatula away from me!" She felt him take a few steps back, then she focused on calming her roiling stomach down. When she felt well enough to step away from the sink, she turned around. Joel was standing in the middle of the kitchen, staring at her with his mouth slightly open.

"What's your problem?" She asked, wiping her mouth for reassurance that it wasn't something on her face. He shook his head and set down the spatula, taking a step closer to her and looking her right in the eye. "Ellie..Are you pregnant?" Ellie stood there for a second, processing what he just said, then burst out laughing, grabbing the counter for support. "I don't see what's so damn funny Ellie, this is a serious matter. Who's the father?" It took Ellie a few more minutes of giggling, then she took a deep breath and stood, straightening up, looking right into the face of a very pissed off Joel.

"I'm not pregnant." She said. He seemed to relax a little and then said "So why are you sick?" She shrugged and walked past him, sitting down at the table. "Maybe it's a bug or something." Joel looked like he didn't believe that answer. "I don't know anybody with a bug, how would you have gotten it?" Ellie just shrugged again. "Ellie, why are you sick?" He sat down across from her, eyeing her warily. "I don't want to talk about it" she responded, rubbing her wrist as a nervous habit.

"Dammit Ellie, I am not gonna leave you alone until you tell me, now why in the Sam heck are you sick?" Ellie groaned and rolled her eyes. She hated when Joel got this way. But as much as she didn't want to tell Joel she was on her period, she wanted to see the face he made when she told him.

"Ok ok. I am sick because I am bleeding out of my-" Joel raised his hands up and closed his eyes, shaking his head. "Got it, you don't have to give so much damn detail." Ellie shrugged and said, "well you did ask."

After Joel ate and Ellie fed the kitten, he instructed Ellie to go give Maria some company, seeing as she wasn't allowed out of bed rest yet. Ellie nodded, glad for the distraction, and headed over.

When she got there, Maria was laying in bed, reading a book. Her belly and gotten even bigger still, and she looked a lot better this time.

"Hi Maria." Ellie said, plopping herself down on to the chair next to Maria's bed. Maria set the book down and sat up a bit. "Why hello there, Ellie. What brings you to see me?"

"Well, Joel told me to come say hi. Besides, I've been meaning to. I have something to talk to you about."

Maria nodded and said "Ok, I'm listening."

"Maria.." Ellie sat on her hands to stop from fidgeting, and then felt too exposed, so she set them on her lap. "Is it normal to have...sexual dreams?"

"How old are you now, Ellie?"

"Almost 15."

"Ah, yeah, it is normal to have dreams like that. You'll be having changes in the way you think and feel about people. I forget sometimes that you don't really have a girl figure in your life. You know, if you ever need to talk, I'm always here."

Ellie smiled. "Yeah, I know, there's Katerina too."

Maria nodded. "So, who is this boy you're dreaming about? Is it the doctors son?"

Ellie smiled awkwardly and decided to lie a little bit. "Oh yeah, totally. How did you know?"

"Well, he's cute, and he's only a little bit older then you. There isn't really many other people it could be around here."

Ellie smiled uncomfortably, feeling Maria would disapprove of the truth. So she changed the subject. "So, Maria, does it make you feel a little weird to be having a baby, with a zombie apocalypse and all that?" Ellie could tell by the way Maria's eye darkened that that was the wrong thing to say. "I'm sorry Maria...I didn't mean anything by it."

Maria swallowed hard and looked at Ellie. "I know, and for a long time I thought the same thing. But we have a stable community here, and I know the baby will be well taken care of."

Ellie nodded and asked "So when is he or she going to come out?"

Maria smiled and tenderly touched her stomach. "We still got a little ways to go, although the doctor says I'll go into labor earlier then I should." Her eyes lit up. "Ellie, we gotta kick! Wanna feel?"

Ellie was skeptical but decided there was no harm in feeling a baby kick, so she stood up and put her hand on Maria's belly. After a minute, Ellie felt a slight movement under her hand. Ellie smiled a little and giggled as the baby continued smacking Ellie's hand. "That's so cool, does it ever hurt?" Maria smiled. "Eh, only a little when the kick is aimed right at my ribs."

Ellie and Maria sat and talked for a little while longer, and when Ellie got hungry she headed home. She went to bed that night feeling confused, because she knew her dreams did not involve a boy, but a girl and a man, and she dreamed of them, and little kicks against her hand.

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So yeah, a breather chapter. Not much going on. Anyway, hope you liked it.


	8. Chapter 8

Enjoy. ;) Warning, sexual content.

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_"Ellie, I need to talk to you, come in here please." Ellie finished petting Riley and stood up, dusting her clothes off. She made her way to Joel's room, and stood waiting for him to talk, but Joel just stood facing away from her, his palms pressed flat against the dresser. "What do you need?" She asked, tentatively. _

_He turned then, and faced her. He looked different, he had an expression on his face that she didn't recognize. Almost, hungry. He took a step forward, his shadow crossing her face. She could feel his warm breath on her face and she looked up at him, parting her lips a little to suck in air. His eyes scanned her body, slowly traveling up and down, drinking her in. He lifted his hand to her shoulder and slowly pulled the fabric over, revealing her neck more. He moaned low in the back of his throat. _

_Ellie's heart was pounding in her chest, nerves wracked her body but she knew what she wanted. She slowly, deliberately raised her hands up, never breaking eye contact with Joel. He smirked a little and brought his hands down to the hem of her shirt, making sure to run his fingers along her hip bones. Ellie shuddered as he slowly began raising it, letting his fingers trail against her skin, leaving goosebumps in their wake. He raised her shirt up and over her head, and then threw it on the floor. His eyes hungrily taking in her chest. _

_Ellie suddenly realized she had a dirty light blue bra on, and self consciously went to cross her arms. Joel grabbed them, midway up, and slide is fingers into hers, whispering, "Don't." That seemed to break the spell, and she lurched forward, pressing her lips against his. He quickly responded, letting go of her hands and wrapping his arms around her waist. _

_He kissed her hard then lightly prodded her lips with his tongue, wanting in. Ellie obliged, and they explored each others mouths. Joel took a step forward, and slid his hands under her ass, scooping her up. She instinctively wrapped her legs around his waist, a small moan escaping the back of her throat. He took a few more steps forward, and stopped when he felt Ellie's back hit the wall, he continued to explore her mouth, then lightly bit her lip, groaning quietly against her mouth. Ellie shifted herself a little and gasped when she felt how hard Joel was. _

_Joel used his body to keep her pinned to the wall, and he ran both his hands up her stomach, stopping just below her bra. He broke the kiss and watched her face change as he slowly slid his fingers under her bra, rubbing his calloused thumbs against her hardening nipples. Ellie looked back at him, shock and lust clouding her thoughts and moaned, pressing her head against the wall as Joel leaned forward and started to kiss his way down her neck._

_Joel continued to kiss and suck at her neck, lightly biting her and there. Ellie tried to think, to understand what was going on, but everything Joel was doing was making it hard to concentrate on anything but how wet she was becoming. She didn't even register that this grossed her out a little. Joel kissed his way up to right under her jaw, then began sucking at it, his fingers digging into her hips._

_Ellie moaned and tightened her legs around Joel, creating friction between the two. Joel grunted under his breath and bit down on Ellie's collar bone, pressing himself against Ellie roughly. Then he stepped away from the wall, turned around and set her on the bed, then he roughly took his shirt off, revealing a broad chest, filled with thick back hair. He crawled over Ellie and ripped her bra, breaking it in between the cups, then he started roughly sucking on her left nipple. Ellie moaned and arched her back, letting the pain mix with pleasure. She ran her hands up his back, lightly letting her nails catch his skin. _

_After Joel repeated the same thing with her right nipple, completely driving her crazy, he stopped and sat up, yanking down her under garments and then his, he was panting now, all signs of reserved Joel gone. He wanted her. She wanted him. She inched up on the bed higher, and pulled him down, nerves tingling. He positioned himself and slowly entered her. Ellie gritted her teeth as she got used to the feeling of Joel inside of her, and Joel hissed through his teeth as he sunk himself deeper inside of her. _

_After a moments pause, Joel began to move, slowly at first, in and out, teasing Ellie. She whimpered and wrapped her legs around his waist, gripping onto his shoulder blades, she wiggled her hips, wanting more. Joel began to move more, faster, entering her fully, he started to rock back and forth. _

_Ellie moaned and broke out in a sweat as her body responded heavily to him, a deep pleasure rippling its way through her lower stomach. Joel began to make small, quiet moans in the back of his throat, his hands gripping the sheets on either side of her. Ellie moaned with him, their noises of pleasure mixing in the air around them. Ellie's legs began to shake as her body warmed up, this was all too much, she started panting as the pressure in her stomach came to a peak. She moaned loudly and Joel responded by thrusted hard into her, filling her. Ellie threw her head back and yelled out as she came..._

Her eyes snapped open, and she realized she was laying in her room, alone. She was covering in sweat and wriggled her hips a little at the uncomfortable pulsing between her legs. Once she was more alert she sighed, and realized this was getting too far out of control. She knew she had to tell Joel how she felt. But how was she going to do that?

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Was gonna make this chapter longer but figured I'd let this one hang in the air.


	9. Chapter 9

Sorry for the delay, got a puppy on saturday and, needless to say, I've been kinda busy. Enjoy!

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Ellie woke up determined to express how she was feeling. She got up, and took a shower, being extra careful to make sure she was extra clean. Then she got out and she made sure to put on her cleanest looking under garments and her nicest clothes, which actually consisted of a tight pair of slightly stained jeans and a t shirt that had blue designs on it that she got from Maria.

She made her way downstairs and couldn't find Joel, so she searched the house, finding him in the first floor bathroom, taking a shower. She stood outside the door, biting her lip. After a few minutes of internal conflict, she reasoned that if she was going to tell Joel, a nice shower scene might do the trick.

She braced herself and took a few deep breaths, giving herself a few minutes to try to calm her shaking hands. After she calmed down a bit, she put her hand on the door nob and after a moments pause and a few gulps she pushed it open.

She took a deep breath of the warm damp air of the bathroom, and then took a step in, wondering just how she was going to do this. Should she just step into the shower behind him, and wrap her arms around his chest? Should she make herself known, and whisper how she felt? She wasn't sure. She thought maybe stepping in might be the better decision, but what side was he facing? Right as she was coming to a decision Joel pulled back the curtain, revealing his naked self to Ellie.

"Ellie what the hell are you doing in here? Get out!" Joel yelled, attempting to cover himself with the shower curtain. His wet face was a mixture of anger and confusion, the hair on his chest flat with water.. Ellie's eyes traveled over his body. After a moment she blindly stepped forward, going on her tip toes, and pressed her chest against Joel's, kissing his lips firmly.

His lips didn't move. After a second she felt Joel's hands grip her upper arms and push her back. She looked up at him, hurt and confused. "Wha-" Is the only thing she said before Joel cut her off.

"Ellie I am not going to tell you again. Get. Out. I will talk with you once I'm finished." His eyes were dark and angry.

Ellie stumbled out of the bathroom, numb and a little dizzy. She didn't understand why Joel reacted that way. Did he not want her? She walked over to the kitchen and plopped down onto the chair, her mind whirling. What did she do wrong? Why did he push her away? Tears threatening to choke her as the water on her shirt chilled her to the bone.

When Joel came out of the bathroom she flinched, scared of what was going to happen next. He walked right past her and poured himself a cup of coffee, and after a minute of agonizing silence he broke it. "Ellie what was that?" His voice was low in the back of his throat.

She looked up at him and stuttered. "I-I mean..Didn't you want..that to happen?" Her eyes searched his and her heart sunk when she noticed how devoid of emotions his were. "No, I didn't want that Ellie. I don't know what made you think I did. But I didn't. You are much too young to be going after a guy like me...Or any guy at all."

Ellie clenched her fists and said, "Don't talk to me about morals. Those were killed off when half the world died."

Joel drained his cup and looked at Ellie. "Well there are morals in this house and nothing is going to happen between us. So don't try anything again Ellie." He walked towards the front hall, put his boots on, and left. The dam in Ellie's eyes broke as the loneliness of the house surrounded her. Even Riley had tucked away. Probably sleeping upstairs..

Anger and sadness built up in Ellie like a tornado. She didn't know what to with all this emotion, and she felt like she could explode. She stood up and punched the table. Then hit it again, a growl seeping through clenched teeth. She ran upstairs and threw everything off the shelves of her room, a small scream leaving her throat. Riley woke up and looking at her through squinted eyes. She glared at the cat and yelled "You wouldn't understand!" Riley just yawned and went back to sleep. Ellie walked over and sat down on the bed, taking a deep breath, the tears started again. Suddenly, an idea hit her. Tears pouring down her face Ellie laced up her shoes and ran out of the house.

She knocked on the door and hoped that Anna wouldn't answer. She didn't. Kat stood there in a pair of blue shorts and a grey, revealing, tank top. "Ellie! What's wrong?"

Ellie pushed past her and glanced around the living room. "Where's your mom?"

Kat closed the door and turned towards Ellie. "She's out with that Keith guy."

Ellie turned and faced her. "Show me your room."

Kat looked at Ellie for a minute and then nodded, taking Ellie up a floor to a small bedroom, Kat opened the door and let Ellie walk through, then closed the door behind them. "Now will you tell me-"

Ellie turned around sharply and took a step toward Kat. She quickly cut her off when she pressed her lips firmly against Kat's, her tears falling on Kat's cheeks. Ellie's whole body warmed up as she felt these lips, press back against hers.

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Ooooh. What will happen? Review!


	10. Chapter 10

WARNING; girkXgirl. Starts right after the previous chapter.

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Ellie whimpered lightly as Kat took over, pushing Ellie so her back was resting lightly against the cool wall. She was nervous, but beyond the point of caring, she was frustrated, and knew Kat would help her. She slowly snaked her arms up and around Katerina's back, lightly pressing her hands against Kat's shoulder blades, feeling Kat's warm skin through the light tank top.

Kat moaned, and Ellie shivered as Kat's tongue lightly pressed up against Ellie's lips, asking for permission. Ellie gently opened up her lips, letting Kat explore. The kiss deepened and Ellie found herself clinging to Kat, her legs weak, her head light and fuzzy, as a warmth swept it's way across her body.

Ellie slid her hands down and grabbed the hem of Kat's shirt, lifting it up slowly and bringing up and over Kat's head, breaking the kiss. Ellie took in Kat's tan belly, the dark blue bra, and finally, the look of hunger on Kat's face. Ellie licked her lips and slowly took her own shirt off, standing there silently while Kat took her in.

After a few seconds of silence, Kat whispered in a husky voice, "Lay on the bed Ellie, let me feel you." Ellie inhaled sharply and looked up at Kat, the blush that was already there deepening. After a moment she nodded, thinking, 'hey, no regrets right?' She walked over to the bed and lay down, looking up at Kat sheepishly.

She watched as Kat sauntered over to the bed, slowly kicking her shorts off as she did. Underneath she was wearing a pair of black panties. Ellie's breath hitched in her throat. Kat came around to the bottom of the bed and crawled up it, then slid Ellie's jeans off her slim waist. Kat planted kisses on each of Ellie's hip bones, then continued to kiss her way up Ellie's stomach, around her breasts, and stopped along Ellie's collarbone, creating hickeys along the lines of them.

Ellie moaned and relaxed on to the bed a little, her body was tingly, her nerves set on fire. She pushed her head back against the pillow and gripped the sheets tightly, little mewls of pleasure escaping her throat. She arched her back up, so her body was pressed against Kat's, and just the feeling of her skin against Kat's made her body shudder in anticipation. All thoughts of earlier that day were gone, all she wanted now was Kat.

She let go of the sheets with one hand and ran her fingers through Kat's hair as Kat made her way to Ellie's breasts. With one quick movement, Kat slipped her hand around to the back of Ellie's bra and un-clipped it, pulling it up and off. Kat gave Ellie a quick kiss on the lips before slowly leaning down and, glancing at Ellie, she twirled her tongue around Ellie's nipple, giggling at the instant moan that escaped Ellie's lips.

Ellie bit her lips and mumbled "shush," as she tried to hold back a torrent of moans as Kat continued to lick and suck at Ellie's nipples. She started to roll her hips up and let out a startled moan as Kat positioned herself so that her leg was pressed against Ellie's womanhood.

"Oh god, Kat." Ellie murmured as she continued to rub herself against Kat's leg. Her eyes slid closed and her bottom lip was sucked into her mouth, her body going wild with the feel of Kat on top of her. Kat sat up and pulled her leg away from Ellie, and grinned at her. Ellie watched as she slowly slid down, and took in Ellie's panties between her teeth.

She slowly slid them down, keeping eye contact with Ellie as she finally pulled them all the way off. Ellie watched on as Kat licked her way up Ellie's inner thigh, and then slowly licked Ellie's clit.

Ellie gasped and threw her head back onto the pillow, moaning at the feel of Kat's tongue. Kat continued to lick, up and down her clit, and Ellie's moans got louder. After a few minutes of this Kat took Ellie's clit into her mouth and sucked, causing Ellie to groan as her legs started to shake. "Kat.." She moaned, stars circling quickly in her mind as her body tensed.

Kat sucked a few more times before Ellie began to realize she was going to cum. "Oh..Fuck.." Ellie moaned, "Kat..I'm going to.." Kat sucked a few more times and then stopped, sitting back on her heels.

Ellie sat up and looked at her, her eyes glazed over. "What the hell?" She panted. Kat smirked and wiped her mouth. "I'm not done with you yet." Then Kat stood up, and slowly took off her bra and panties, and then climbed in next to Ellie. "I'm already horny so we can skip all of that." Kat said. She continued, "but I did want to try something I heard about." Ellie, compliant but frustrated, nodded shortly. "Ok, do you trust me, Ellie?" Ellie rolled her eyes. "Obviously."

Kat smirked and nodded, then turned Ellie partly on her side, lifting her leg in the air and holding it. Then, Kat moved herself so she was in between Ellie's legs, with Ellie's leg on her shoulder. She inched forward until their clits were touching. Immediately Ellie felt electric shocks...

Then, Kat began to roll her hips. Ellie's eyes snapped closed as her body responded to the waves of pleasure she was feeling. "Fuck.." She kept mumbling under her breath, and she was panting. She arched her back and rolled her hips with Kat, and smiled a little as Kat's moans began to pick up. Her mind was a continuous array of fireworks, her body was on fire. She felt the beginnings of an orgasm and she whimpered. "Kat..I'm getting close.."

Kat grunted "Me, too..Shhh." And continued rolling her hips into Ellie. Ellie's muscles tightened and her legs grew weak, she bit her lip, moaned Kat's name, and then came, her body jerking as she did. Kat came right after her, both girls moaning loudly as they rode out their orgasms. Finally, Kat pulled back, placing Ellie's leg on the bed, and plopped down next to Ellie with a sigh.

Ellie controlled her breathing, and absently rubbed at the leg that had fallen asleep. After a few minutes Kat muttered "That was even better then I had thought." Ellie just grunted and then pulled the covers out from under her, curling up against them. She began to doze off, and right as she slipped away Kat kissed her head and muttered "When we wake up you're telling me why you came her crying."

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Review! Say nice things, I've had a rough day.


	11. Chapter 11

Slight spoilers to the DLC in the beginning of this chapter. Sorry for the delay, I haven't forgotten about this at all, but I do have a 12 week old puppy, and I need to be completely immersed in the chapter, which can be extremely difficult because I need to keep a constant eye on her. Please review!

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As Ellie stirred, her first coherent thoughts were about how comfortable she felt in Riley's arms. She sighed and snuggled in against Riley, then reality set in. Her eyes shot open as she remembered where she was, and who she was with. She rolled out of Kat's arms and got up, pulling on her clothes. Just as she was tugging her shirt down, Kat woke up.

"Hey Ellie, where ya goin'?" Kat asked, sleepily.

"I want to go see the horses." She replied. She had a deep pain in her chest and she needed to think.

"Want me to come with you?" Kat asked, sitting up and wrapping the sheets around herself.

"No, that's alright." Ellie resonded, heading for the door. As she was stepping through the threshold she heard Kat call out. "Can I see you later?" She sounded hopeful, and Ellie smiled. "Yeah, see you later!" She called back.

Ellie walked her way over to the pasture, to her favorite horse, Kraven. She grabbed a brush and started brushing Kraven, deep in thought. She missed Riley. The guilt she felt was enough to push her to her knees. She was angry at Joel. Didn't she realize how much they could be together? On the other hand, the other spectrum on feelings, she left a warm glow from the affection she felt for Kat. And damn, she could please. Ellie sighed and sat down on the smooth grass. Kraven snorted and pushed her head against Ellie's arm, and Ellie reached up absentmindedly and pat the horses nose.

Ellie was dozing against the horses legs when she realized she was cold. The sun had set, and the night took on a chill. She sat up, rubbing her eyes when she heard what had origionally woken her up. The clicking. Kraven whinnied softly and stamped her foot, looking nervous. Ellie stood up and aligned herself with the horse, and peered in the direction of the noise.

There, on the other side of the pasture, was a clicker. Ellie bit back a gasp and crouched down, looking under the horse for other clickers, but saw none. She looked around and cursed under her breath, the only thing she had with her was the horse brush. It would have to do.

She crept out from behind the horse and picked up a rock, and quietly made her way toward the clicker, kicking off her shoes to reduce noise. When she was a few feet away she looked around for something to hide behind, and saw a lone tree about a foot from the clicker. She crept slowly, closer and closer, to the clicker, and flinched when she broke a small twig underneath her foot.

The clicker jerked towards her direction and cocked its head to the side, seemingly listening for her. She held her breath and waited, relaxing only slightly as the clicker slouched back over. She crept the rest of the way to the tree and gave herself a second to catch her breath, then she threw the rock, letting it hit the side of the lean to, making sure the clicker ran right past her.

The rock hit, making a loud metallic clang ring through the otherwise silent night. The clicker whipped towards the noise, screeching loudly, and took off in the direction of the lean to. Ellie waited until it ran past her, then she launched herself onto its back, grunting as she thrust the handle of the brush directly into its skull.

She dropped back and fell backwards, panting as she watched it slump onto the ground. She felt herself start to shake, and she wrapped her arms around herself. It took her a few minutes to calm herself down, and just then, Ellie heard Joel call out to her, and she stood up and turned, watching him as he jogged out to her.

"Ellie! Are you ok? I figured you'd be here, I stopped over to Kat's and she said she hadn't seen you. It's late and..." He dropped off as he saw the still body of the clicker. "What the hell? Where did that come from?"

Ellie glared at him and said "It was just standing here in the field. I dozed off and woke up and saw it, then killed it. No thanks to you."

Joel ignored the last part and pulled his radio out of his back pocket. "Tommy, a clicker got in." Pause. "The horse pasture, and yeah I think that was the only one." Pause. "Ok, well hurry. And bring some light. It's dark out here."

He placed the radio back in his pocket and sighed. "So what happened Ellie?"

"I freakin told you!" Ellie spat. She was angry that he was being so casual, acting like nothing had happened between them. She was cold, and angry. "I fell asleep, and when I woke up he was just standing there."

"Drop the attitude Ellie." He crossed his arms, and Ellie's anger flared even more.

"You're not my dad! If you haven't noticed, I will NEVER see you as my father, so just stop pretending!" An angry tear escaped her eye, and she walked away from him, towards where she saw the clicker. She walked to the back wall, and saw a gap there, the metal sheet that was supposed to be part of the wall was lying on the ground.

'Ah ha.' She mumbled, and she stood listening for any other noises. When she heard nothing, she gingerly peeked out, looking left and right for any other clicker, or infected of any kind. She didn't see any, but what she did see was a dead horse, a few feet away from the opening.

"Ah shit." She stepped out and walked over to it, cringing at the smell of blood. "Oh no, you look just like Callus." She murmured. She knelt down and very softly moved the the mane out of the horses face, smoothing it back against the horses neck. Just then, she heard Tommy talking, and she walked back through the opening. She couldn't see him, but she did see his bobbing flashlight. When he got there, she gestured to the broken part of the wall.

He nodded and looked at her. "So he was just standing in the field here?"

Ellie nodded. "There's a dead horse out there too."

"Ok." Tommy said. "Is there anything else you can tell me?"

"Well.." Ellie began. "I was brushing Kraven over there, the dark horse, and I dozed off. I come here a lot to clear my head. Anyways, I woke up to the sound of the clicker, and I crept up to it and killed it, so it didn't get any closer to anybody. Oh, and uh, I sorta used a horse brush to kill it...Sorry."

Tommy chuckled lightly. "That's fine, you killed it. And thank god you did. Who knows what would have happened had you not been here. I wonder who the hell supposed to be watching this area of the field, and where the hell are they?"

Ellie just shrugged. "I dunno, it was empty when I got here."

Tommy nodded. "You are one tough kid." Then he cleared his throat. "Ellie, did something happen with you and Joel?"

"No." She said, a little too quickly. Then she added, "I am not a kid."

Tommy looked at her, but took the hint. "Ok, well, thank you Ellie. And thank you for uh, taking care of him. " He gestured towards the form of the clicker. "You should get inside. My men are searching the compound for anymore, and you've done more then enough for today. I have the compound on lock down until we know it's safe."

Ellie said thank you and left. As she was leaving the pasture Joel caught up with her.

"Ready to head home?" He asked, his voice too light.

"No, I'm going to Kat's." She said.

Joel looked like he was going to protest then shook his head. "Ok, see you tomorrow."

He headed into the house, and Ellie headed to Kat's.

When she got there, Anna was still out, staying in, wherever she was, until the alert was lifted. Ellie and Kat made dinner and sat down in front of the tv, popping in a movie. As they ate, they watched. The silence comfortable between them. When the movie was over, Ellie looked at Kat. "Is it ok for me to stay here tonight?"

Kat smiled. "Of course Ellie." After a pause she said, "what had you so upset this morning? Was it Joel?"

Ellie jumped guiltily, and decided to tell the truth. "Yeah."

Kat nodded solemnly. "Does he not feel the same way?"

Ellie's face turned pink. "How did you know?"

Kat smiled. "I tend to notice things about people I'm interested in."

Ellie looked at her quickly. "You like Joel?!"

At that, Kat started laughing, grabbing the couch arm for support. "Oh. My. God, Ellie you are so cute. I'm interested in you, duh!"

Ellie half smiled as she felt her face warm up again. "Oh, haha."

Kat leaned in and kissed Ellie lightly, and they spent the rest of the night watching movies and cuddling together.

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	12. Chapter 12

I had this done earlier, but my neighbors internet, which I use, with permission of course, was messing up. Anyways, There's slighty graphic content in this chapter. It's a wound, before you all get your hopes up. :P Enjoy!

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_Ellie was cold. Ellie was cold and she could barely make out her surroundings. She squinted her eyes, holding her breath as she just made out the shape of a large metal cabinet a few feet in front of her. It was rusted, an arch of pieces that had chipped off formed a semi circle around the base of it. _

_She turned her head and took in a wall, with an old bed resting against it. It was held my a cheap metal frame, and the mattress itself was covered in stains. Some dark brown, some almost red, some, Ellie didn't even want to think about. She turned her head to the left and an old toilet, bent forward, sat there, a sink right next to it. _

_Finally, Ellie looked down at herself. She was wearing some kind of blue grey jumpsuit. It had the word Heather printed on it. She looked up and scanned until she found the door, then she walked over and grasped the handle, pulling. It didn't move. She tried harder, and harder, until finally she was pulling as hard as she could, grunting with effort. With one final tug the handle snapped off, the sound of scrapping metal loud in the room._

_She stood there, panting. Then, she heard a small rustling from behind her. She turned, slowly, until she was facing the back of the room. There, an infected was quickly crawling out from underneath the bed._

_Ellie gasped and took a step backwards, so her back was against the door. She raised her hand, which still had the door handle in it, and prepared herself. The infected shakily stood up, then lurched toward Ellie._

_She screamed and ducked down, running under the infected's raised arms, and jumped up onto the bed. She held the handle at the ready, sharper side up, and when the infected ran at her, screaming and sputtered, Ellie thrusted her hand out, the handle sinking deep into the shoulder of the infected. Ellie pulled back and aimed again, readying herself, and right as she was about to strike, The infected jerked forward, sinking its nasty decaying teeth into Ellie's thigh. _

_Ellie screamed and stabbed down as hard as she could, impaling the thing from the top of it's head. It screamed and time seemed to slow down as it slowly sunk down, until it was laying face down in front of the bed Ellie was still standing on._

_Ellie took in a deep breath, which sounded more like a sob, and sat down gingerly, wrapping her arms around her legs. The bite on her thigh stung more then the one she had gotten on her arm, the one that told her she was immune, and changed everything. _

_She peeked down at it, and gagged. It was bleeding pretty badly, the gap bigger the she had thought. Layers of skin and tissue were missing, pieces of flesh making a jagged edge around the could almost see the glint of bone in the very center of the bite. She took a deep breath, stopping almost immediately as the smell of rot mixed with the smell of iron that was her blood. Looking around, Ellie grabbed the pillow at the end of the bed, ripping the pillow case of of it._

_"Oh fuck, this thing is so dirty." She muttered, both dark and light stains covered the case, but, figuring it was better to stop the bleeding, she wrapped it around her leg and tied it tightly. _

_After a few minutes, Ellie's head began to feel light, and her body began to feel heavy. Breathing seemed harder then it was before, her breath coming in in gasps and out in puffs. She was starting to shiver, her knee's knocking together as she tightened her arms around them. Ellie knew then, that she was either dying, or turning. Then she had to laugh at herself. "Isn't that...The same thing?"_

_She gritted her teeth as her body began shivering harder, nausea ripping it's way through her body. She began to lose consciousness, black dots swimming across her vision. Her teeth were chattering as her body began tingling. Her eyes slid closed and her head lolled back, hitting the wall. With her last remaining thread of awareness, she muttered "Joel, where are you?"_

Ellie was up and running towards the bathroom before she could comprehend what she was doing. She ran through the door, falling to her knee's and skidding to a stop in front of the toilet. She waited, and then, after a few minutes, her body started to relax. She sighed, falling back on her heels. She began absentmindedly rubbing her thigh with one hand as the other wiped her sweaty brow.

"Hey, Ellie, are you ok?" Kat stood in the door, one hand on her hip, head cocked to the side with a worried expression on her face. Ellie sighed, and nodded, standing up and splashing water on her face. "Yeah, bad dream. It just, felt so..real."

She and Kat walked down into the kitchen, where she sat as Kat made her some tea. She told Kat the whole story while she sipped it. After she was done, Kat smiled gently at her. "Wow, that does seem like a scary dream. So, you're immune then. Is that what that scar is on your arm?"

Ellie froze as the nausea worked it's way back into her stomach. She had totally forgotten to leave that part out. "Uh..Yeah. But like, I tried to be useful, to make a cure with myself, I went to the fireflies, to their facility, they were gonna do surgery on me, and when I woke up, we were on our way here. Joel told me it didn't work. And that they did everything they could. I-"

Kat stopped her with a kiss on the forehead. "Ellie, I get it. That's great that you tried to help. I probably would have been too scared."

Ellie smiled gratefully at her and traced the rim of the cup with her finger tip.

"I have to go back and grab clothes. Joel shouldn't be home at the time of day so I should be good to run in and grab some. I seriously need a shower."

Kat smirked playfully and said, "Yeah you do!"

Ellie smiled back. "Hey, shut up! You don't smell so great yourself!"

Kat stuck her tongue out and turned towards the stairs. "Ok, get your stuff and get back here so we can shower. We can do it..together, if you like. Save water and all that." Then she winked and sprinted up the stairs.

As Ellie slipped her shoes on and headed over to her own house, she wasn't sure she was quite ready for that. Ellie wasn't quite sure of anything, actually. She still had feelings for Joel, somewhere. Even if he would never want her. She pushed away the bitter thoughts and headed inside. "Riley!" The little black kitten bounded up to her, meowing like Ellie had been gone forever. Ellie scooped her up and pet her as she headed up to her room.

She grabbed her clothes and decided to shower there. Less chance of her agreeing to something she wasn't sure she wanted. She stood for awhile, letting the hot water soak into her body. She didn't have a clue as to what she wanted. Yeah, she wanted Joel. But he made it clear that wasn't gonna happen. Did she like Kat? Yeah. Kat was cute, funny, and a great lover. She knew, though, that her conscious whispered to her that it wasn't fair to Kat.

She finally soaped up and rinsed off, then got out and dressed. As she was leaving the bathroom, towel drying her hair, she heard someone coming up the stairs. Panic crawled up her throat and she dropped the towel, preparing herself for anything. Then, Joel walked into the room. "Finally, Ellie. Can I talk to you for a sec?"

Ellie's guard flew up as she glared at him. Anger and sadness mixed in with a small trickle of hope, and that just made her angrier. "Yeah?"

He took a few steps into the room and looked at her. "Ellie, you know why what you did was wrong." He waited for an answer, and her heart sank. After a few minutes of silence, he continued. "I am much too old for you. End of the world or not, it just ain't right. I wasn't raised that way, and I certainly don't think it's appropriate."

He took a few steps forward and gently slid a finger down her face. Ellie's heart rate spiked and for the third time that day, she felt like she was going to throw up. She searched his eyes, seeing a few different emotions flit across them. Serious, tired, and something else she couldn't name, something that darkened them. What he said next sent her head spinning, and before she could react, he was gone.

His voice was deep, and thick with emotion when he said, "Even if it's what we both want, it's not right."

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Hope you liked it, please review. If anyone can tell me what the dream was based off of, you sir or ma'am, are an amazing person.


	13. Chapter 13

Ellie walked over to her bed and sat down heavily on it, crossing her legs underneath her. What did that mean? Did Joel just say he wanted to be with her? The amount of anxiety mixed with pure hope in her body was overwhelming. She absentmindedly pet Riley while her mind whirled a mile a minute. She wasn't sure if she should jump for joy, scream, or punch something. She wasn't sure if she should laugh or cry. Did this mean...Did it mean she might be able to win him over? She wasn't sure...

Just then, she heard someone coming up the stairs, yet again. Her heart jumped into her throat, but she knew it wasn't Joel. The footfalls weren't heavy enough. Just then, Kat peeked into the room. Oh. Shit.

"Hi Ellie." She started, "I thought you were just getting clothes and coming back over?"

Ellie bit her lip and looked down. "Yeah, about that.."

She sunk down into herself, trying to disappear into the comforter on the bed. There was no way she could pretend that didn't happen. There was no way she could be with Kat. As conflicted as she was, what Joel said had changed everything. She had more hope now, and knew it wasn't fair to do this. She looked up as she heard Kat take a few steps closer to her, and Kat stopped in her tracks as soon as she saw the look in Ellie's eyes. "Ellie..What...?"

Ellie took a deep breath. "I...I can't do this anymore."

Kat's face contorted, confusion clouded her eyes. "Can't do what?" Her question was clear, but her eyes whispered they knew exactly what Ellie meant.

Ellie bit her lip again, harder, as she saw Kat's brown green eyes well up with tears. Her mouth was open slightly, and her hair was still wet from a shower, her hands were limp by her sides, and Ellie's heart constricted at how helpless Kat looked.

After a moment's pause, Kat said "If this is about the shower joke, I wasn't being serious. We don't have to push anything, we can go as slow as you want."

Ellie just shook her head. "It's not that."

"Then what is it?" Kat was getting frantic now, her breathing speeding up.

Ellie herself dug her fingers into her palms, feeling just about as shitty as she possibly could. "Kat, I just..Can't let go of Joel yet..You have to understand..Right?" She held her breath as she waited for Kat to answer.

Kat's face went from anguished, to down right nasty. She drew herself up and balled her hands into fists. "Fine. If you want to chase after some old man who doesn't give a flying fuck about you, go for it." After a pause, she sneered, "You're a _little girl. _He doesn't need a child lusting after him." Then, Kat turned and walked away, slamming the door behind her.

Ellie sat there silently, her body feeling numb, her heart hurting. After what seemed like an incredible amount of time, she released a loud sob, and her dam broke. She cried. Ellie hugged her pillow as tight as she could as the sobs wracked their way out of her body. She felt like she was splitting in two, and her heart felt bruised and broken.

After a while, she finally quieted down, an occasional hiccup shattering the otherwise silent room. Riley was curled up in Ellie lap, looking up at her with round green eyes. Ellie sighed and pet her, letting the warmth and softness of her kitten make her feel better. If only slightly.

Ellie jumped in the dark room as, some hours later, she heard the front door open. She braced herself as she heard slow, deliberate footfalls walk up the stairs. They were softer, not Joel. Was Kat coming back? She listened as the steps stopped.

"Ellie?" It was the doctors son. Did no body know how to knock on the front door anymore?

She cleared her throat. "What?"

"Joel told me to come get you. Maria had her baby."

Ellie sat up straight and scrambled out of bed. "Is she ok? Is the baby healthy? What is it?"

Ellie stumbled toward the door, as both her feet were asleep, and charged out into the hallway, where Ryan stood looking awkward. "Yes, Maria is fine. Yes the baby is healthy. She came a little early but everything went fine."

Ellie felt a smile break across her face as they headed over to Maria's. "A little girl, huh?"

They got there and made their way up to Maria's room, where Joel Tommy, and the doctor all stood around a tired, but happy looking Maria. Bundled up in Maria's arms was a small baby, pink cheeked, eyes open just looking around the room. As much as Ellie was uncertain about babies, this one sure was damn cute.

She walked around the bed and stood next to Maria. "Hi, Maria. You're babies really cute."

Maria looked up and smiled. "Thank you Ellie. I think so too."

Ellie giggled and reached down slowly, stroking a finger down the babies exposed arm. As she got to the hand, she gripped the tiny fingers lightly, and was surprised when the baby closed her fingers around Ellie's. "Awww..." Ellie whispered, eyes brimming.

She sniffled a little and looked at Maria. "What are you thinking of naming her?"

Maria froze and looked into Ellie's face, taking in the dark circles and tear streaks. She narrowed her eyes, and then mouthed "_I will talk with you later." _Then, her face cleared, and she smiled again. I was thinking June. So I can call her my little JuneBug.

Ellie smiled. "Sounds like a beautiful name."

Ellie glanced up and saw Joel leaning against the wall, arms crossed, looking right at her. She froze and quickly looked back down, then froze again as she noticed that Maria had seen the small exchange. _"I will definitely talk to you later." _She mouthed. Ellie fidgeted, then nodded. After an awkward pause, Maria said "Do you want to hold her?"

Ellie shook her head quickly. "Uh, no. That's ok. I don't really trust myself to hold her."

Maria smiled. "Ellie, you can stand right over the bed while you hold her, wash your hands. Trust me, you won't regret it."

Ellie bit her lip, considering for a moment. Then, she nodded and walked out to wash her hands. When she came back in, she stood right over Maria, nerves making her stomach hurt. She held her arms out, and gasped as Maria laid June down gently in her arms. The baby fussed momentarily, then settled down, looking up at Ellie with dark blue eyes.

Once Ellie felt more comfortable with the babies weight, a smile broke it's way across her face. This baby was so tiny, fitting in Ellie's arms perfectly. This wasn't so bad. She cooed quietly at June, smiling as June wiggled in response. She hadn't realized she'd been crying until one tear slipped from her cheek and landed on the babies light pink blanket. She smiled again and rocked the baby gently, watching her little eyes droop as she yawned. Finally, June dozed off, a small sigh leaving her lips.

Ellie smiled again and leaned forward, lightly kissing the babies forehead, and then handed her back to Maria. She walked backwards until she felt her back hit the wall, farthest away from anyone, then she crossed her arms and sighed, letting her head rest against the wall and her eyes slip closed.

Ellie had experience heart break today, but she had also experienced new life. She had hit two different sides of life in one day, two completely different things. The beginning of a new life, and, in a sense, the death of a relationship. It made her realize there was a lot more to this fucked up life than she realized. A small smile played across her lips.

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Ok, so, tides are turning now. What will have to happen for Joel and Ellie to finally be together? we shall see. Please leave me a quick little review. It'll make my day.


	14. Chapter 14

Ellie waited a few days to go see Maria. She hid in her room with Riley, getting more nervous the more she thought about it. Besides, Maria was probably busy with June. Finally, one bright, too hot day, Ellie headed over to Maria's house, sweat making her shirt cling to her back and nerves making her stomach tie itself into knots. She knew she couldn't lie, Maria was too sharp for that.

She knocked on the door and waited for someone to answer, wringing her hands together. After a moment, Tommy opened it, dark circles under his eyes, but otherwise, he looked happy. "Hello Ellie. Come to see Maria?" Ellie nodded, and Tommy ushered her in. The house smelled like baby.

Ellie made her way upstairs while Tommy made them some lunch, and she headed over to the babies room. Maria was in there, rocking June on an old rocking chair. She was breastfeeding. "Oh, oh crap. I'm sorry, I'll wait." Ellie said, as she flung her arms up and backed out of the room. Maria chuckled. "Ellie, you can't see anything. Besides, it's natural, and it's not like you don't have breasts. It's fine, come on in."

Ellie smiled a little and stepped in the room again, a pink blush spread across her cheeks. Maria was right. She sat down in the chair adjacent from Maria's and clasped her hands in her lap, trying not to look at Maria.

"So, you haven't been around lately, you've been avoiding Joel, and when you visited a few days ago, you had been crying. What's been going on?" Maria asked, as she adjusted June so she was upright, and Maria started lightly tapping her back. Ellie, afraid to answer her question, asked instead, "What are you doing?"

Maria smiled. "I'm burping her. Babies take in air when they're feeding, and need help burping. By lightly tapping her back like this, I'm helping the air move up. She might spit up though." Ellie cocked her head to the side. "Spit up?"

Maria glanced at her. "I know what you're doing, and we're gonna have this talk. But, you know when you burp, and sometimes food comes up with it, you just swallow it back down, right?" Ellie nodded. "Well, a baby doesn't know to swallow it back down."

Ellie wrinkled her nose. "So they throw up?"

"Yes and no." Maria said.

"Gross."

"Yeah, I agree." Tommy said, coming into the room with a few sandwiches and cups of milk.

Ellie jumped and looked guiltily over at Tommy, and accepted the sandwich and milk he handed her. They ate in silence, when they were done Maria's intuition kicked in once again, and she politely asked that Ellie and Maria have some girl time. Tommy nodded, and took June to take a walk around town. The weather had cooled down, and grey clouds had rolled in, so he said he'd go see Joel when he was done.

After he left, Maria curled up in the chair, and looked at Ellie. "No more distractions. What is going on?"

Ellie bit her lip, wishing she hadn't eaten. "I, well..Ok. So, I guess.." She broke off, and Maria reached over, placing a hand on her leg. "Ellie, I will not judge anything you tell me. We're all human. Please, trust me."

Ellie looked up into Maria's sincere eyes and nodded. "Well, you know who Kat is right?"

Maria nodded. Ellie looked down.

"Well, I kinda liked her. And, it turns out, she kinda liked me." She paused, waiting for Maria to look at her with disgust, but Maria just nodded and placed her chin in her hand.

"So, I spent a couple of days over there, and we, uh, we did, stuff.."

"You had sex." Maria said. She didn't sound angry, she sounded like she understood. Ellie relaxed a little.

"Yeah, and it was really great and all, and I did really like her, but I couldn't stay with her. And when I told her she freaked out. That was the day you had June." Ellie's eyes stung, remembering the hurtful words Kat had spoken.

Maria nodded. "Ok, that makes sense. Why couldn't you stay with her?"

The tone of Maria's voice made Ellie look up. She was looking at Ellie with those sharp eyes of hers, and Ellie knew Maria probably already had an idea.

"Well..." She paused. "Maria, you're gonna think I'm gross."

Maria smiled and shook her head. "No, I can promise you I won't think you're gross."

Ellie looked back down. "Well, I think I..I think I fell in love with uh, Joel." She shuddered at the silence that followed her words, at how raw she felt for actually saying them to somebody. Finally, Maria broke the silence.

She whispered, "I know honey. You look at him the way I look at Tommy. Please, continue. I'm assuming something made you decide you should go to Kat?"

Ellie nodded as a tear slipped off her cheek. "Yeah, I tried to tell Joel how I felt, and he said it was wrong. Said it wouldn't happen."

Maria made a noise in the back of her throat. "Typical Joel. So, what made you leave Kat? Just couldn't handle the mixed feelin's?"

Ellie shook her head. "No, the day I went home to shower and grab clothes, the day I told Kat, and the day June was born, I was just coming out of the bathroom when Joel walked in. He stood right in front of me, and told me that even if we both wanted it, it wasn't right. That's when I knew I couldn't be with Kat. So I told her I was still hung up on Joel, and she said I was just a child, and he didn't need me lusting after him." Ellie finished the last bit in a hurry, closing her eyes as all the feelings she had left her, leaving her feeling exhausted.

Maria was silent for a long time, so long, that when she spoke, Ellie was such a wound up ball of nerves she jumped at Maria's voice. "Well..Ellie, I do think the age difference is complicated at best. But I also know this world, is all you know. And I know that Joel's stuck around longer then most. Things are different then how they were. Morals are almost unheard of. You don't know much about how things were before the infection. And I know that no ones life is guaranteed. If Joel ever comes around, and I should add, I'm not sure that'll happen, but, if he does, make the best of it Ellie."

Ellie looked at Maria, her mouth open slightly. She figured Maria would tell her how wrong it is. Maria had a smile on her face, but she did look conflicted, and, now that Ellie really looked at her, she looked exhausted. "Thank you, Maria." She said slowly, then, she got up and hugged her. Maria laughed softly and hugged her back. Then, Ellie pulled back. "I'm gonna go now, you look tired." As she said it, Ellie felt all her energy drain too. That talk had mentally drained her.

Maria stood up, and as she walked out of the room with Ellie, she stopped. "Ellie, Tommy's not gonna like this. I just wanted to say that right now. I'll talk to him about it though." Ellie froze. "Don't tell him!"

"I won't. But he's gonna find out eventually."

Ellie frowned. "Yeah, I know. That is if anything even happens. Which it probably won't. So, don't tell him unless things happen."

Maria nodded. "Understood."

Maria headed to bed, and Ellie left.

On her way home, dark clouds had taken over the grey ones, it was nice and cool, and it felt good on Ellie's heated skin. She was deep in thought, about to walk into the house when she heard a light tapping on the side of it. Ellie froze and crouched, making her way across the porch to the noise, which was on the left side. She peeked over, and saw Kat standing there, hands in her pockets, looking back at Ellie. Ellie's heart started racing in her chest. After a moments pause, she climbed over the railing and dropped down in front of Kat.

Kat spoke first. "Listen, I know I said some terrible things the other day and I'm sorry. I didn't mean it. I was just upset, I don't like it when I lose things that are dear to me."

Ellie smiled sadly. "It's ok, but I should be sorry. I was really confused, and I didn't know what I wanted. I think I thought I did, at the time, but I guess I'm not so good at these things..I should have figured out what I wanted before I came to you."

Kat giggled. "Oh, you came to me alright."

Ellie punched her arm. "Hey, that's not my fault!"

The girls giggled together for a minute and then quieted down. After a few moments of silence, Kat spoke.

"I know how it feels to really love someone, so, I know how you feel with Joel. I could see it, I just chose to ignore it. I was so mad because I had hoped that maybe you would have fallen for me... Ellie.." She held on to Ellie's arm, a seriousness to her eyes that Ellie had never seen. "I'll wait for you." Kat whispered those words, then leaned forward, pressing her lips against Ellie's lightly. Ellie kissed her back, trying to express how she felt through it, then, all too soon, it was over, and Kat stepped back. "Go get him Ell." She whispered, and turned, and walked away.

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So, there's that. Ellie and Joel will be together soon, hopefully. :D Shout out to Doomsta27, thank you for your reviews, I appreciate your feedback and I'm glad you like the story. And on that note, thank you everyone, for your reviews.


	15. Chapter 15

Long chapter, but it's so worth it! ;D

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The next day, Ellie got called into the doctor's office. She ate breakfast and headed over there, nervous. Was someone hurt? When she got there she was ushered into a room and a nurse, whose name was Zee, was waiting for her. "Ellie, I know this is late but every female has to have an exam when coming into the compound."

Ellie scrunched up her face. "Like, an exam, exam?" She asked. The nurse nodded. "I'm afraid so. We did your physical when you got here, so all that's left is well, the exam exam." The nurse gestured to a table that had weird metal things you put your feet on. "I know it's weird, but we have to make sure you're healthy. We have some magazines for you to look at if you want some distraction." The nurse left to grab some scary looking supplies. supplies.

Ellie stepped over to the rack of magazines, uneasy about the whole thing. Suddenly, her face lit up. "Oh my god! Savage Starlight!" She picked it up and flipped through it. "I haven't read this one yet!" Feeling slightly better, she went to change into one of those stupid gowns, and she plopped herself down on the table, gingerly putting her feet up on the stands. The nurse told her a few things such as clamp will be cold blah blah, and the exam was under way and Ellie was nose deep in the comic.

After about 20 minutes of uncomfortable poking and prodding, the nurse cleared her throat.

"Ellie?" She sounded weird, too quiet, and Ellie set the comic down. "Yeah?"

The nurse sat up. "Well, I have some news that might be...difficult." Ellie bit her lip, then nodded. "Ok." She swallowed hard, nerves tingling. The nurse continued. "It appears, that you are infertile." Ellie blinked. "I don't know what that means." The nurse took her glasses off and folded them, setting them on her lap. "Well, your uterus, which is a big part of having a child, is abnormal. So basically, you won't be able to have kids. Do you need me to explain further?" Zee's eyes were full of sympathy. She continued, "If you need, we have a counselor that can come talk to you." Ellie let that sit for a minute. Finally, she spoke. "I'm ok with that."

That night dinner was quiet, and a little too awkward. Joel had to go help Tommy after, so she had the night to herself. She finished up and went to put her dish in the sink when Joel spoke. "The nurse called me today." Ellie spun around. "She told you?" Joel laced his fingers together. "She was worried. Most woman when they find out they can't have babies well, they don't take it too well." Ellie exhaled. "Look around you. I wouldn't want to bring a baby into this world. Besides, I don't know if I'm cut out for it." She turned her back to Joel and started doing dishes. After a minute she turned her head. "It might seem weird, but I really am ok with it." Joel looked at her for a minute then nodded and handed her his dish, then he said goodbye and headed out to help Tommy.

Ellie woke up with a start, the room slowly coming into focus. She was in her own bed, tangled up so tight in the sheets she felt trapped. Her dreams and thoughts had mixed together, her body resting but her mind restless. She sat up, pulling at the sheets and wiping the sweat from her brow. The house was silent and dark. Joel hadn't been home when she went into her room, and she must have fallen asleep waiting for him. "Damn." She whispered into the still room. Riley stirred and rubbed against Ellie. Ellie pet Riley for a minute, then she realized she needed to get some air. She needed to clear her head.

The night sky was bright with stars littered all over the roof of the world, and the moon cast a light glow on everything. It had warmed up some since the rain, but the air had a damp feel to it. She set off walking until she reached her destination. The horse pasture. She found Kraven nibbling grass and walked up to her, patting her nose lightly. The horse whinnied softly and nudged Ellie's pocket. "Oh, sorry Krav, I didn't bring you a carrot this time." Ellie whispered to her. Ellie decided though, that she would go get some hay for her, she set off toward the lean to.

When she got there she stepped in, the air more moist and chilly here. She knelt down and gathered some hay, using the light from the moon to pick the better stuff. Just as she had collected a decent pile, something blocked her light. She froze, and was about to turn around when a familiar voice froze her even further. "What are you doin' out here so late?" Joel's deep voice rumbled in the tiny lean to.

"I uh, I couldn't sleep." Ellie said, turning around and standing up. "So I came to see Kraven." She faced him, face turning red as she took him in. His plaid shirt was unbuttoned at the top, hair a mess. He had a sheet line in his cheek, and his shirt was only half tucked in. He looked like he'd just woken up, and it looked _so _good. Ellie felt tingles running down her back.

"Joel, did you follow me here?" She asked. Joel nodded. "Yeah, I heard you leave and got a little worried." Ellie cocked her head to the side. "Why?" Joel shifted and simply said, "Cause last time you left you didn't come back for a few days."

It was Ellie's turn to shift, uncomfortably. "Oh. Sorry." She looked back up and Joel, and bit her lip, searching his eyes with the little light they had. For a few moments, the world quieted down. The crickets stopped chirping, the horses stopping nickering to each other, everything was silent. Then, without a single coherent thought, she kissed him.

Her heart jerked painfully as she met still lips, and she took a step closer to him, pressing her body against his. The chill was an advantage, her nipples hard against the thin cotton of her tank top, and the small gasp against her lips told her that he could feel them.

"Joel.." She whimpered, against his lips. "Please.." Her heart threw itself against her rib cage as she added, quietly, "Take me."

A growl ripped it's way through Joel's throat and he snaked his arm up and around her, cupping the back of her head and pushing her mouth harder against his, kissing her back roughly.

Ellie moaned against his mouth, both hands grabbing the open flaps of his shirt as the kiss deepened. She opened her mouth, and both began to explore each other, tongues twirling together in a heated battle. Joel won, and he sucked her lower lip into his mouth, biting it and pulling back gently.

Ellie moaned again as pleasure and anxiety shot through her body, her head spinning. She gasped as he brought both hands down and cupped her hips, picking her up then placing her on the tallest mound of hay. He stood back up and pulled his shirt up and over his head, muscles rippling under his tan skin.

"Oh god." She whispered, as he crawled over her slowly. He positioned himself and kissed her again, mashing his lips against her already bruised ones. "We need to hurry before I change my mind." He said, his voice deep, thick with need. Ellie shivered and nodded.

He looked at her for a minute more and nodded back, then he cupped her chin and pulled her head to the side, attaching his mouth to her neck. He sucked, moaning deeply as his hips moved against hers.

Ellie closed her eyes, gasping for air as her body was lit on fire. She couldn't think, barely remembered to breath. She wanted him with a force she'd never felt before. Wanted him to be inside of her.

Her eyes rolled up as he kissed his way down, yanking her flimsy shirt down and took her hardened nipple into his mouth. He sucked hard, teetering on pain. She gasped and slid her hands into his hair, grabbing it and pulling lightly. Joel groaned and sucked harder, rocking his hips against her as he took the other nipple in and gave it the same treatment.

Ellie was so far out of her mind now she was rolling her hips in time with Joel's, moan's and mewls escaping her mouth in waves. "Oh fuck. Please. Please..." She whined. She was turned on and a little grossed out by the fact that her panties were sticking to her. Bottom line was she knew she wanted them off.

Joel finally pulled back from her nipple with a small pop, and sat back as he yanked her pants and panties off in one pull. She watched him as he took his own pants off, so hurried he kept missing the button. He was panting and his hair stuck up from where Ellie's fingers and pulled on it. She knew then with more conviction then ever that she loved him, her heart pounding wildly against her chest.

Before she could think anything else, Joel had his pants off and was back against her, and she wrapped her legs firmly around his waist. He looked at her, eyes barely recognizable they were so dark. "Are you ready?" He asked, his voice hoarse. She nodded, bracing herself.

He nodded back at her, and rested his head against hers as he slowly entered her, giving her time to adjust to him. He was by no means lacking, and she needed a second to relax her body. He finally, after a painful few minutes, was buried deep inside of her. He paused for a second longer and then rolled his hips once.

"Fuck.." Ellie moaned, and he rolled again, then he pulled out, and slid back in. His breathing was hitched, and she knew he was being easy on her. "Joel..Please..I'm fine." She mumbled. He grunted in reply and started moving his hips at a normal speed, then he pushed himself up on his elbows and kissed her as he started to speed up, rolling his hips into her. She moaned as pain finally ebbed away to pleasure, and she rested her hands against his back. Joel moaned and began going faster, thrusting himself deep inside of her. He re-positioned himself and began to slam into her, his eyes shut tight and his bottom lip pulled in against his teeth.

"Fuck. Fuck. God damn." Ellie murmured as her nails began to dig into his back, the heated pleasure from before returning. Joel was moaning more, louder, as he picked up more speed. "Goddd Ellie.." He moaned, and Ellie moaned back as she felt a tightening in her belly. "Oh..Ah.." She moaned, sweat glistening on her skin as she felt her orgasm begin to take form.

She rolled her hips up into his, and after a few mistakes she was matching his speed, rolling up into him as he rolled down onto her. Fireworks exploded behind her eyes, the sound of their moans and the sound of skin smacking against skin making her legs shake. "Joel." She moaned. "I think I'm gonna.." He moaned loudly and nodded shortly, and she gasped as she felt him get even harder inside of her.

Her nails dug into him, scratching hard down his back as her orgasm hit her, she threw her head back into the hay and released a torrent of loud moans and swears. Joel covered her mouth as he came too, her name falling from his lips over and over as he emptied himself into her.

Finally, they both stopped moving, save for the quick rise and fall of their chests. He had collapsed onto her, and she had her arms wrapped around him, one hand running fingers through his damp hair. Ellie listening to the sound of his breathing and she felt the beat of his heart against her chest.

After a few minutes he rolled off of her, and sat up, running his hands through his sweaty hair. "Shit." He mumbled. Ellie froze and waiting for him to tell her how much of a mistake it all was, but he remained quiet. So she spoke. "Joel, I know you're gonna tell me I'm wrong, but hear me out." She sat up and took his hand. "I know that what we just did seems wrong to you, but it's not. It's not, anymore."

She took a deep breath. "We've both lost loved ones, so I think it's important that we love while we can. It just doesn't last long anymore. Nothing's guaranteed. I want to be with you, Joel. You can't tell me there's 'someone more suited.' We don't have the luxury of being stupid human beings. I don't want to always wonder what it would be like to be with you. And as much as you might disagree, I know what I want. And it's you."

She paused again, taking a deep breath as her heart rate accelerated. "I love you." The words left her lips and floated lazily above them.

Finally, Joel looked at her. He was silent for a moment before he said, "I love you too."

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This isn't the end of trouble, but it's a stepping stone :D Hope you liked this chapter. ^.^ I know for some it's been a long 14 chapters waiting.


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